Oh Lord.....carry me.....

So, as i sit here in Taylor's early this Sunday morning after yet another "all-nighter" in the studio...i remembered that I hadn't written in an insane amount of time...so...i'm back. (at least until i fall asleep..haha.)

I can't believe this semester is almost over....it really did fly by! I have less than a week, and two major projects to finish in that small amount of time. I know that the Lord's grace is sufficient.....but I tend to wonder what the heck i'm doing and if this continual pattern of business will ever calm down.

I don't know....I hope so, at least for a little bit...but I am confident that rest will come in time.

I think it's just that i get in this 'survival mode' for finals....especially with all these projects....and my flesh wants to scream out the negative...but I am so thankful that God's Spirit says NO! LOOK FOR ME IN THIS...EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU CAN. He is able to be worshiped THROUGH the exercising of my soul...and strength... not with just words, songs, etc. Like Matt reminded me at Encounter last Thursday....Love the Lord with all you heart, mind, soul, and strength......I'm so thankful that God is pleased to see one of His own loving Him with her soul and strength, asking Him for creativity, and then using the gift with all her strength.....and then this verse comes to mind...."And so whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as if you are working for the Lord, not for men....." I pray that it is the Lord that is my motivation.....I know that His grace is sufficient to carry me throught these times when all i want to do is give up in my exhaustion and crawl into a warm bed and sleep for days.....
I am encouraged that God knows my frustrations right now.....and also that He will NEVER give up on me.....(I MUST CLAIM THIS TRUTH IN MY LIFE EVERYDAY.)

So basically, i'm just trying to say that I know in my heart, not i feel in my heart, but i KNOW that the Lord is able to sustain....and that He promises to never leave me, and that ultimately He wants my character to be in the best shape possible, sooo....if it takes extremely hard situations to do that, then, i guess that's just what's going to have to happen....

Oh Lord, carry me.....when i want to give up, right now...in the midst of this drought of rest....carry me! Help me to finish the race as one who is running to win, not to loose.....I have no idea what you could do if I starting resting in your absolute strength in my weakness......today, Lord, let my attitude reflect you, even though I think my tendency will be not to....I am in need of You...oh Lord, carry me.......
I love you.............